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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone freaks out. I’m like, “Is this a drill or what?” But nah, it’s real. We all pile out onto the street, and I’m just standing there, watching the chaos. People are running, some are laughing, and I’m just trying to figure out if I can grab a coffee from that cute café on Kifisias street before the fire trucks show up. Priorities, right?

Florida Football Recruiting: J’Vari Flowers is a day one weapon